Uplifting Money Conversations with Loved Ones
Money conversations can be challenging no matter the circumstance. In fact, money is one of the top causes of marital discord. Not only that, but money can be difficult to discuss with friends and other family members as well. That’s because there is so much shame and judgment related to money, so people often feel attacked no matter what the conversation is about. Plus, we tend to approach money conversations in a negative way, focusing on the lack of money or the stress surrounding it.
But it is possible to create more positive conversations around money. Here’s where to start:
1. Be Open and Honest
It is difficult to be vulnerable.
Money can come with baggage and shame, but it is essential that you are honest with your loved ones. Ask them to listen to your money story without judgment and tell them about any hang ups or negative history you may have with your finances. Tell them about your financial dreams. This will help them to understand you better, and hopefully be more open to what you need financially. This will also help you to feel less isolated with your financial issues and will likely improve your relationships.
2. Use Positive Language
There are always a lot of negative thoughts and language that come up related to money. Budgets may feel limiting and restrictive. Watching our spending feels like punishment, but it does not have to be that way. The more we shift our language to be more positive, the better we will feel about managing money, and the easier it will be to talk about personal finances. Instead of using language like “I can’t afford that,” say things like “I’m not prioritizing that right now.” This kind of shift puts more power into your hands and shows that you are the one who is in control of your financial decisions, and ultimately, your own financial independence.
3. Lead with Your Goals
Instead of just saying that you want to “spend less to save money” or that you’re “broke,” be specific and avoid derogatory terms such as these. Explain that there is an end goal in mind. Are you trying to save money so that you can fulfill your dreams of traveling to Europe? Do you want to save so that you can buy a house someday? Or do you want to avoid interest rates by paying down your credit card debt? Explaining these concepts to your family and friends can be extremely beneficial! When you talk about your goals (instead of your failures or insecurities), you’re living in an abundance mindset, rather than in a scarcity mindset. Not only is that better for you, but it will make your loved ones more receptive and open to the point you are trying to get across.
4. Ask About Their Goals
Do you know what your friends hope to achieve in life? They may not even have clear goals yet but asking about them could very well set them down that path. Encourage your friends and family to identify and clarify their goals and see how they relate to money themselves. Maybe you will find that you have similar goals, and you can support each other in reaching them. Encouraging healthy goals such as saving and investing in a retirement plan, rather than short-term gratification type goals such as purchasing a brand-new car, will set your loved ones up for increased chances of success. Creating shared goals is a great way to connect around money and get on the same page financially.
5. Ask for and Offer Support
We all do better when we have a healthy support system. Accountability is particularly challenging on our own. Teaming up with friends or family members to encourage each other in the pursuit of your respective financial goals may be a great way to help one another ‘stay on track’. You could set weekly money dates, where you both review your spending and compare with your monthly budget. You could also just simply send each other encouraging texts every week. It is easier to keep working towards a goal when we know we’re not alone.
So, go ahead. Have some healthy financial conversations this holiday season. If you follow these guidelines, you’ll be much more likely to make them positive and productive. Good luck!
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All expressions of opinion are subject to change. This article is distributed for informational purposes, and it is not to be construed as an offer, solicitation, recommendation, or endorsement of any particular security, products, or services
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